Drunken Charm

We continue with me tackling one of the most important aspects of Halloween, finding a kick-ass costume.

My first costume idea for Halloween was to go as Anton Chigurh from No Country For Old Men. In my opinions he one of the great villains of all time — with his silenced shotgun and whatnot. But I quickly came to realize that this was just not in the cards. If I would have had a little more time I’m sure I would have been able to pull it off, but with denim jackets, little dutch boy wigs and oxygen tanks in limited supply in PB, it was obvious my “Sugar” costume was not going to happen. Oh well, at least I had a Plan B.

NOTE: I like to pick Halloween costumes that you can’t just pick off the shelf. A lot of guys like to pick costumes that are tailored to women (which I can’t necessarily hate on), kinda like the girls do for men (the one night a year they feel truly comfortable unleashing their inner slut). I personally always want to come up with something at least a little original (Michael Jackson might have actually been a really good idea a year ago) — show off my creative side.

My second costume choice was going to be fairly easy to pull of. There was just one component that I was kinda worried about. It was Leon, The Professional from the 1994 film, Leon: The Professional; and the only thing that concerned me was the circular shaped sunglasses he wore that haven’t been in production since 1996.

Leon: The Professional

I spent all day looking for those damn glasses, but stopped when my friend from San Francisco arrived into town.

That night we grabbed some dinner and decided to have a bonfire on the beach and maybe do a little night surfing. The bonfire was fun. The waves were pretty shitty so we opted out of surfing and all just hung out by the fire pit and passed my buddy’s flask, full of sweet tea vodka, around (it’s illegal to drink on the beach in San Diego). At some point I realize I split the ass-end of my favorite pair of jeans wide open and at that point it was time to call it a night. We were out of booze anyway.

As Saturday rolled around, I wasn’t feeling very confident about my costume anymore. Finding a pair of those circular glasses were so very crucial for my costume idea and I was havin’ zero luck. Not only that, but I didn’t really have a Plan C if it didn’t work out.

So, after breakfast I, along with my friends, set out to scramble for our last minute Halloween costumes. We  went to about seven different stores and I was already contemplating what Plan C would be, when one of my friends comes up and hands me an almost exact pair of the sunglasses I was looking for. After that, the rest of my costume fell right into place. The beanie, suspenders, gun holster, etc, I also decided to pick up a little potted plant (his best friend) at the grocery store to kinda set the whole thing off.

Some of you guys out there might ask me, “Why The Professional? Why not Edward Cullen, or Leonidas from 300, or a Teletubby ( in my opinion, probably the single costume most likely to get you laid. Don’t ask me why)? Why a character from a random fifteen year old movie that most people may or may not have ever even heard of before?” Well, the answer is quite simple: I thought it was fuckin‘ cool. Plus, sometimes being obscure can be beneficial.

NOTE: Don’t ever feel like you have to pander to people for the sake of acceptance. If you’re passionate about something and think it’s awesome, then own it; wear it like a fucking medal. People will have no choice but to get on board — or at the very least watch from the sidelines. Bring them into your world.

But I wasn’t the only one rockin‘ a kick-ass costume pulled off at the last minute, my friends did a pretty awesome job as well. My posse consisted of:

• The Dude (from The Big Lebowski)
• Gunther (European Internet Sensation)
• An Indian princess
• A cowgirl
• A Price Is Right contestant
• A vampiress
• Asian Agent Smith (from The Matrix. An “Asian Smith” if you will)

What was so awesome about my roommate going as The Dude was that he mixed us all up some White Russians before we headed to the House Of Blues Block Party. There was definitely excitement in the air and vodka/Kaluha in our bellies. Who doesn’t love Halloween?

We leave Pacific Beach around 9:15pm and make our way to downtown San Diego. As expected, parking was a bitch and after about 20 minutes of driving around, parking and walking to the venue, we got to House Of Blues around 10pm. I was stoked because right before we got to the door of HOB I got my first holler of the night, “Hey Professional!”, which I thought was pretty cool. As I approach the doorman, I am more than ready to get the night started. I have my costume, I have my ticket, I have condoms in case some young Philly decides she wants to take advantage of me, I have my . . . FUCK! I didn’t have my ID. It’s not in my wallet. I had put it in my carry on bag after I went through security at the airport the day before. I cannot believe this. I am such a fucking idiot.

There’s more ups and downs (as well as a few more drinks) to come in Part 3 . . . so stay tuned.

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